The Test of Love
25/3/2020
I feel like a soldier not in the sense that I am in immediate danger of having my guts blown out (though let’s not talk about my lungs), but in the ways that I’ve been kept from my other half - be it by the existing distance or by this enforced quarantine.
Sure, we’re able to message every day and FaceTime one another some others, but it’s not the same as seeing her, feeling her unending warmth and support in my arms and not imagining it in the empty space next to me.
Sometimes I think of the men in the trenches, clicking open their watches to see the faces of their loves. They must have thought of possibility the same way I do as I open my phone and run through our pictures together.
It’s our first anniversary soon - the first anniversary either of us have ever celebrated - and the only way we will spend it together is by looking into a screen, wishing we could reach across to the person on the other side. I had so many plans for the things I would do for you, the kindnesses I would spring for you when you were least expecting.
I suppose the best I can do is to keep imagining them, every day, till this all blows over. Till we can finally see each other again, and I can give you all the love in the world. That is a promise I will not forget.